Making Friends Is Hard
When you’re moving to a new city or new country, making friends is really hard. If you’re wondering how to make friends as an adult, you’re definitely not the only one. Then especially as an adult, it’s very challenging to start from zero again. Everyone around you seems to already have a solid friend group. Depending on where you’re moving to people also might be more closed off to making new friends.
Through living abroad in 4 different countries I learned how to make friends as an adult over and over again. This is based mainly on my experiences of living abroad but honestly, this also works in your own country.
A little disclaimer: The following tips will definitely help you make new friends, but connecting with new people always demands that you invest some energy and time. I’m personally a very extroverted person and absolutely love meeting and connecting with new people, but I’m aware that this is not the case for everyone. So just try whatever works for you!
Bumble BFF
This is my favourite tip of all. When I moved to Lisbon at the end of November 2022 I knew no one. Usually, when moving abroad for University you will at least get in contact with some people your own age. I did not have this luxury. So I had to get more creative.
Bumble is a dating app that also has a BFF (Best Friends Forever) and a Business version. And last year was the first time that I decided to make use of the BFF version. It first felt a little strange to swipe for friends like you would for a date but after a while, you get used to it. It’s an easy way to connect very quickly with people from the area and the great thing is – they are also looking to make friends. Often you also don’t need to read too much into someone’s profile. If someone seemed nice and fun to hang out with I would match with them and try to organize a hangout as soon as possible. Don’t talk to your new friend on the app for weeks, otherwise, it will fizzle out. Meeting in real life will show pretty quickly if you get along.
Meeting new people for the first time is always a bit nerve-racking but it’s a great excuse to try a new brunch place or café. If you struggle to make conversation with people you don’t know you can follow this little conversation rule:
- Reaction
- Comment
- Question
So when your new friend is telling you something, just follow the rule of reaction, comment and question. For example, they will say something like “I just moved here last week” and you follow up with “Wow so you’re pretty new here. I’ve been here for 6 months so I got to know the city already a bit. How do you like it so far?
These are basic conversation skills but it’s mindblowing how many people (especially guys) are not able to keep a conversation going.
The great thing about going on friend dates is that you can also invite other people and create a little friend hangout. That’s actually how I met some of my friends. I didn’t directly match with all of them individually on Bumble but went with a friend to a small Bumble hangout. If you get along with someone it’s also likely that you vibe with the people they matched with.
Sidenote: I’ve head that it’s definitely easier for girls to use Bumble BFF as there are not that many men on there. However, I still have some male friends that were able to connect through Bumble BFF so still give it a go.
Facebook Groups
You can also use Social Media to meet other people or even to attend events. I used the Facebook Group Girl Gone International Lisbon. There are many Girl Gone International groups created for different countries and cities.
I met a few of my friends over this Facebook group and was also able to join an event or two that someone advertised in the group. So if you’re wondering how to make friends in a foreign country it can definitely be worth it to check out Facebook groups. Depending on what country you’re from there might be some Facebook groups called “XX in XX” (for example Swedes in Lisbon, Norwegians in London, etc.).
The Facebook groups are not only great for meeting new people but can also be super helpful if you need any support or have questions.
Hobbies
A big secret to making friends as an adult is often simply proximity. Showing up to the gym around the same time or taking language classes regularly will allow you to meet the same people again and again. Take a leap of faith and start a conversation with someone you see often and you never know what friendship can grow from that. At least you will definitely already have something in common.
If you don’t know what kind of hobbies you want to start you could also try some events. Check out Meetup.com and find events and people in your area. And if you can’t find a specific event for something you want to try, why not create your own? If you follow any of these tips I’m sure you will soon create your own community abroad and develop great international friendships!
Put In The Effort
As mentioned in the beginning I know making new connections is not always that easy for everyone. However, one thing I’ve noticed through the years that really makes a huge difference is the amount of effort you put into meeting new people. If you’re someone who asks questions and is interested in the other person and is proactive and invites people to hang out you won’t struggle to make friends.
If you’re new to a city/country/place and you connect with people who are in the same position the chances are very high that they’re up to hanging out, since they are also trying to meet new people and make friends. I won’t guarantee that you will be besties with every person you meet but if you put in some constant effort (especially in the first weeks of arrival) you will manage to find people you connect with.
Putting in effort to make new friends also doesn’t have to be complicated. Once you have the first contact you ask the other person to join you in grabbing a coffee or visiting a store you wanted to see. It does not have to be complicated or extravagant. The most important part is that you get to do something fun and that you have space for a nice conversation.
Angela
Angela, the mastermind behind theslowtravelista, is a passionate traveler who embraces slow travel's essence. With a knack for immersing herself in diverse cultures, she treasures connections formed across the globe. Beyond her adventures, Angela's vibrant personality shines through her love for spontaneous hair changes, hitchhiking escapades, and culinary delights. Join her for travel insights, laughter, and unforgettable adventures.
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